“Alright, here’s how this is going to work,” Liaison explained. “You’re a guest on my show! And that show’s name is…”

PICK! YOUR! POISON!

“What the hell? Where’d you get that backup crowd?” Alice asked.

He sped right past it: “So, let’s see if you can even understand the basic premise of the game with that tiny little brain of yours.”

“Hey!”

“Trust me, I would know how small it is. I have to live in there. Anyway, I’ll give you the choice of three doors – behind one door is a food you like. Behind the others is poison.”

“Well, that’s no good,” she thought out loud to herself.

“So you pick a door … let’s say, 1. And I know what’s behind these doors. So I open up Door 3, and it has, again, poison.”

“That’s no good at all.”

“Then I ask you: do you want to change your answer to Door 2?”

“Uh… well…” It felt like he was staring a hole through her. “I don’t know.”

His brow furrowed; she watched it climb higher on his forehead. “You know Door 3 has poison in it. Do you change your answer?”

She licked her lips and stared at the ground, whatever there was of it. “Oh my god. I don’t know. What kind of fucking question is this?”

“Are you for real right now?”

“Yes. Indubitably real.”