5. Pathetic Side Salad

The Liaison was already started on another bizarre tangent: “You ever go to a restaurant and order the side salad, and they bring you out the saddest conceivable pile of lettuce and a single crouton.”

“No,” Alice replied cheerfully.

“Well, this is nothing like that. This is worse than that. This is a wet paper bag with a crumb on it.”

“Great. I won’t order it then.”

That settled that.